See the YouTube Video HERE
By Sheena Nancy Sarles
Does aging enhance or diminish our resilience?
The dictionary definition of resilience is the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness; the ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape; elasticity.
As we meet our aging, we need to develop our resilience to meet the challenges we face. We do have difficulties not faced before.We experience more losses, we experience diminished capacity, reduced finances, and on and on.
Yet what we do know from our experience and wisdom is what the renown Buddhist Nun Pema Chodren says, “No feeling is permanent.” Now we know, that this too shall pass.
But how can we create sense of resilience when there are times that we just don’t feel the capacity to recover quickly? It doesn’t just happen because we want it to. Resilience is a practice just like meditation or learning a new skill. We can’t just call on resilience because we want it. Resilience becomes part our inner voice that tells us we can come back.
In my life, I have faced many of the challenges that we all share. I have lost loved ones, my parents, my best friend, my sister. I have had financial problems. I have had things just not go my way for a variety of reasons, as most likely so have you. How long can we put it all on hold? Do we sit, do nothing, mope, beat yourself and immerse in self-pity? NO!
I think resilience is also being in the process getting from one set of circumstances to another. I love the quote and podcast from entrepreneur, Marie Forleo, “Everything is Figure Out-able.” So let’s figure this out!
Here are Seven Keys to Resilience:
1. Begin with a clear perception of the situation. Ask yourself the tough questions and answer honestly. What role, if any, did you play in the difficulty?
2. Become more self-reliant. Others can help and support but the real work of resilience is counting on your own strengths to bounce back.
3. Offer support to those who are in a similar situation. The more others need your strength and support, the more developing your resilience is needed.
4. Find your motivation: You need to develop the ability to take charge of the situation, to take charge of the problem. You need to stand up and do whatever is necessary to get back on course.
5. Resilience is creative. With resilience, you can look at a situation and creatively determine the best way out. You are enterprising in your approach toward starting over.
6. A resilient person has humor. You may cry until you start laughing, but a sense of humor is so important when turning your life around. You’ve got to take your goals seriously, and you’ve got to take yourself seriously. But at times, you’ve also got to be able to laugh at yourself and your situation.
7. A resilient person has a strong sense of morality. Whatever you do to get back on your feet, make sure it’s moral. Make sure that your upcoming success is of service, and not at the expense of, others.
The more obstacles you face and overcome, the more times you falter and get back on track, the more difficulties you struggle with and conquer, the more resiliency you will naturally develop. If you are resilient, there is nothing that can hold you back.
All About Resilience
Adversity is a fact of life. Resilience is that indescribable trait that allows some people to be knocked down by life and come back at least as strong as before. Rather than letting difficulties or failure overcome them and drain their resolve, they find a way to rise from the ashes.
Psychologists have identified some of the factors that make a person resilient, such as a positive attitude, optimism, the ability to regulate emotions, and the ability to see failure as a form of helpful feedback.
Research shows that optimism helps blunt the impact of stress on the mind and body in the wake of disturbing experiences. And that gives people access to enabling cool-headed analysis of what might have gone wrong and consideration of behavioral paths that might be more productive.
Resilience is not some magical quality. It takes real mental work to transcend hardship. But even after misfortune, resilient people are able to change course and move toward achieving their goals.
Practice resilience. We can and do come back from our adversities.
“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” Rumi